


In The Beginning (4.03)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [64]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aliases, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Costumes and Disguises, Dean's Leather Jacket - Freeform, Demon Blood, Demonology, Episode: s04e03 In the Beginning, F/M, Hugs, Hunters, Impala, John's Journal, Mary's Bracelet, Mary's Past, Possession, Ruby's Car, Samulet, Screenplay/Script Format, Single Perfect Tear, The Colt - Freeform, Time Travel, angel lore, back to the future - Freeform, demon smoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 19:39:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7814548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean gets transported back up in time n' endz up in Lawrence, Kansas, where his schmoooove ass crosses paths wit a lil' version of his thugged-out lil' muthafathas, whoz ass have just fallen up in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

**INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT**    
  
DEAN be asleep. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM pauses n' looks at his ass before leavin tha room.  
  
  
**EXT. MOTEL - NIGHT**    
  
A hoopty pulls up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM gets up in tha passenger side. RUBY is driving.  
  
**RUBY**  
Ready?  
  
**SAM**  
Definitely.  
  
  
**INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT**    
  
DEAN is trippin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We peep flashez of his cold-ass terrified face, up in red, n' tha sound of screams yo. Dude wakes ta find CASTIEL chillin on his bed.  
  
**CASTIEL**  
Yo muthafucka, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What was you trippin about?  
  
**DEAN**  
What, do you git yo' freak on by watchin other playas chill, biatch? What do you want?  
  
**CASTIEL**  
Listen ta mah dirty ass. Yo ass gotta stop dat shit.  
  
**DEAN**  
Quit what?  
  
CASTIEL puts two fingers ta DEANz forehead.  
  
  
**EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET- DAY**    
  
DEAN is chillin on a funky-ass bench.  
  
**POLICE OFFICER**  
Move it dawg-you can't chill here.  
  
**DEAN**  
Okay... chill... where?  
  
**POLICE OFFICER  
** Anywhere but here.  
  
Dean tries ta cook up a cold-ass lil call on his cell yo, but gets no signal.  
  
**DEAN  
** Perfect.  
  
DEAN gets up n' entas 'JAY BIRD'S DINER'.   
  
  
**INT. DINER - DAY**    
  
DEAN sits all up in tha dinerz counta next ta a YOUNG MAN.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo, where tha hell be I?  
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Jay Birdz Diner.  
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, props. I mean, uh... hood n' state.  
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Lawrence, Kansas.  
  
**DEAN  
** Lawrence.  
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Yo, you aiiight dawg?  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, tough night.  
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Yo, uh, fruity-ass malt liquor here, Reg.  
  
**REG  
** Okay, comin right up.  
  
DEAN pulls his cell beeper from his thugged-out lil' pocket.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo ass betta tell me where I can git reception on dis thang?  
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Da USS Enterprise, biatch?   
  
DEAN looks at REG as his thugged-out lil' punk-ass brangs tha fruity-ass malt liquor over n' shit. REG is dressed up in 1970s hippie gear- be thinkin early Sonny Bono.  
  
**DEAN**  
Thanks... sick threads. Yo ass know Sonny n' Cher broke up, right, biatch?   
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Sonny n' Cher broke up, biatch?   
  
DEAN looks round tha diner n' notices mah playas is dressed up in 1970s-era threadz yo. Dude looks all up in tha newspaper tha YOUNG MAN is reading. Da headline readz “Nixon accepts resignation of top…” n' tha date is Monday, April 30, 1973. DEAN grills tha lyrics “Seventy three.” A MAN entas tha diner.  
  
**MAN**  
Yo, Winchesta n' shit.   
  
DEAN n' tha YOUNG MAN look around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da MAN shakes tha hand of tha YOUNG MAN.  
  
**MAN**  
Son of a funky-ass biiiatch yo. How tha fuck you bustin, Corporal, biatch?   
  
**YOUNG MAN  
** Yo, Mista Muthafuckin D.   
  
**MR. D.**  
I heard you was back.   
  
**YOUNG MAN**  
Yeah, a lil while now, nahmeean, biatch?   
  
**MR. D.**  
Dope ta have you home, John, damn good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!   
  
**DEAN**  
Dad, biatch?   
  
**MR. D.**  
Well, say wassup ta yo' oldschool playa fo' mah dirty ass.   
  
**JOHN**  
Yo ass gots it, Mista Muthafuckin D.   
  
JOHN notices DEAN starin at his muthafuckin ass.  
  
**JOHN**  
Do we know each other, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
I guess not.   
  
JOHN gets up ta muthafuckin bounce.  
  
**JOHN**  
Take it easy as fuck , pal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.   
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah.


	2. ACT ONE

**EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY**    
  
DEAN is followin JOHN WINCHESTER fo' realz. As tha pimpin' muthafucka turns a cold-ass lil corner, DEAN bumps tha fuck into CASTIEL.  
  
**DEAN**  
What tha fuck iz this, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL**  
What do it look like?  
  
**DEAN**  
Is it real, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL**  
Very.   
  
**DEAN**  
Okay, so what, biatch? Angels gots they handz on some Deloreans, biatch? How tha fuck did I git here, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL**  
Time is fluid, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but not easy as fuck yo, but we can bend it on occasion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**DEAN**  
Well bend it back or tell me what tha fuck tha hell I be bustin here biaatch!  
  
**CASTIEL**  
I holla'd at you, you gotta stop dat shit.   
  
**DEAN**  
Quit what, biatch? Huh, biatch? What, is there suttin' nasty afta mah Dad?  
  
DEAN turns as a cold-ass lil hoopty horn sounds. When tha pimpin' muthafucka turns back, CASTIEL is gone.  
  
**DEAN**  
Oh, come on! What, is you allergic ta straight lyrics, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch?!  
  
  
**EXT. RAINBOW MOTORS CAR DEALERSHIP**    
  
JOHN is poppin' off ta a CAR SALESMAN.   
  
**CAR SALESMAN**  
A fine lil' playa like yo ass, just startin out, biatch? How tha fuck bout I take off another 250, biatch?   
  
JOHN considaz it fo' a moment.   
  
**JOHN**  
Letz do dat shit.   
  
**CAR SALESMAN**  
I be bout ta git tha paperwork.   
  
JOHN strutts over ta tha front of a funky-ass beige VW van n' rubs tha headlights, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.   
  
**DEAN**  
Thatz not tha one you want.   
  
DEAN is leanin on a ’67 Chevy Impala!   
  
**JOHN**  
Yo ass followin me son, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, no, I was just passin by. I never gots ta fuck you fo' dat cup of fruity-ass malt liquor dis morning. I was a lil outta dat shit.   
  
**JOHN**  
Mo' than a lil.   
  
**DEAN**  
Let me repay tha favor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
DEAN pats tha hood of tha IMPALA.   
  
**DEAN**  
This is tha one you want.   
  
**JOHN**  
Oh yeah, you- you know suttin' bout cars, biatch?   
  
DEAN nodz his head n' looks slightly nostalgic.   
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah... yeah, mah Dad taught me every last muthafuckin thang I know.   
  
**DEAN**  
And dis- dis be a pimped out car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
DEAN opens tha hood of tha IMPALA n' leans in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. JOHN joins his ass on tha side of tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
**DEAN**  
327 four barrel, 275 horses fo' realz. A lil TLC n' dis thang is cherry.   
  
**JOHN**  
Yo ass know dude, you right.   
  
DEAN nodz over his shoulder all up in tha van. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**DEAN**  
Then what tha fuck is you buyin dat thang for, biatch?   
  
**JOHN**  
I kinda promised one of mah thugs I would. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
**DEAN**  
Over a '67 Chevy, biatch? I mean, come on, dis is tha hoopty of a gametime. Trust me, dis thangz still gonna be badass when itz 40.   
  
JOHN considaz it fo' a moment n' hold up his hand ta DEAN.  
  
**JOHN**  
Jizzy Winchesta n' shit. Thanks.   
  
DEAN shakes his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
**DEAN**  
Dean Van Halen- n' fuck you, biatch.   
  
JOHN looks up in tha open windowz of tha IMPALA.   
  
**DEAN**  
I was up in pretty rough shape dis morning, huh, biatch?   
  
**JOHN**  
No kidding.   
  
**DEAN**  
I've been hung over before but, hey, I was, I was gettin chills up in dat diner n' shit. Yo ass didn't feel any of dem cold spots, did yo slick ass, biatch?   
  
**JOHN**  
Nope.   
  
**DEAN**  
I swore I smelled suttin' weird too, you know, biatch? Like... like rotten eggs. Yo ass didn't happen ta smell any sulfur by chance, biatch?   
  
**JOHN**  
No.   
  
**DEAN**  
No... There been any cattle mutilations up in hood recently, biatch?   
  
**JOHN  
** Okay, mista playa! Quit dat shit.   
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, if only I knew what tha fuck ta stop. Listen, uh- peep up fo' yo ass aiiight, biatch?   
  
**JOHN  
** Yeah, sure.   
  
DEAN pats tha IMPALA again n' again n' again n' leaves.   
  
**CAR SALESMAN**  
So, biatch?   
  
JOHN points all up in tha IMPALA.   
  
**JOHN**  
I be bout ta take dis one.   
  
  
**EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SUBURBAN STREET**    
  
JOHN pulls up in tha IMPALA. Further down tha street DEAN pulls up yo. Dude watches as a lil' biatch runs from a doggy den ta JOHN'S car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
**JOHN**  
Hey.   
  
**GIRL**  
Whatz this, biatch?   
  
**JOHN**  
My fuckin car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
Da GIRL strutts round tha back of tha car, n' JOHN bigs up her n' shit.   
  
**GIRL**  
What happened ta tha van, biatch?   
  
**JOHN**  
Mary, dis is betta than tha van! This has gots a 327, a gangbangin' four barrel carburetor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
**DEAN**  
Mom, biatch?   
  
  
**EXT. DINER - NIGHT**    
  
MARY n' JOHN is inside wit milkshakes. DEAN watches dem all up in a window.   
  
**DEAN**  
Sammy, wherever yo ass is, Momma be a funky-ass babe. I be goin ta hell... again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
  
**INT. DINER - NIGHT**    
  
JOHN n' MARY is chillin across from one another poppin' off over milkshakes.   
  
**JOHN**  
I should just rap ta his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**MARY**  
My fuckin Dadz bein mah Dad, John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but not you, biatch.   
  
**JOHN**  
How tha fuck is it not me son, biatch? Dat punk been like dis fo' how tha fuck nuff years, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Dat punk just protectizzle over me, thatz all yo. Dude don't want me ta-  
  
**JOHN**  
Hook up wit a maniac from a cold-ass lil crew of mechanics, biatch?   
  
**MARY**    
No! Yo, I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, fo' exactly what tha fuck yo ass is. I be bout ta be right back.   
  
MARY leaves. JOHN pulls up a lil' small-ass red box. Inside be a ring.   
  
  
**EXT. DINER - NIGHT**    
  
MARY is standin behind DEAN.  
  
**MARY**  
Why is you followin us, biatch?   
  
DEAN turns around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! MARY knees his ass up in tha stomach n' throws his ass against a metal container next ta tha building. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch goes ta punch him, n' da ruffneck dodges it, steppin sideways.   
  
**DEAN**  
Is you crazy, biatch?   
  
MARY continues her attack. DEAN backs up as dat thugged-out biiiatch comes afta his ass yo, but he manages ta grab her arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is.   
  
**MARY**  
You've been trailin our asses since mah house.   
  
**DEAN**  
I don't give a fuck what tha fuck you poppin' off bout-  
  
**MARY**  
Really, biatch?   
  
MARY n' DEAN grapple. DEAN grabs her n' holdz her against a wall.   
  
**DEAN**  
Okay, how tha fuck bout we rap bout this, huh, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Let me go!   
  
DEAN sees MARY is bustin a funky-ass bracelet wit protectizzle charms.  
  
**DEAN**  
Is you a hunter, biatch? 


	3. ACT TWO

**_EXT. CAMPBELLS’ HOUSE – NIGHT_ **

JOHN n' MARY pull up in tha IMPALA. 

 **JOHN  
** See you later, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** If you dirty. 

They lick n' MARY gets outta tha hoopty fo' realz. As she approaches tha doggy den DEAN appears.

 **MARY  
** Dean, right, biatch? I aint shizzle you should come in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass can trust mah dirty ass. I mean, come on, we all hunters, right, biatch? I mean, we- we practically crew. 

 **MARY  
** Yeah, thang is, mah Dad, he a lil, um... 

 **DEAN  
** Oh, I gotta hook up his muthafuckin ass. 

 **MARY  
** You've heard of him, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Clearly not enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. 

**_INT. CAMPBELL HOUSE – NIGHT_ **

**SAMUEL  
** So, you a hunter, biatch? Well, tell me something, mista hunter, you bust a cap up in vampires wit wooden stakes or silver, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Neither, you cut they headz off. 

MARY smiles.

 **DEAN  
** So, did I pass yo' test, biatch? 

 **SAMUEL  
** Yep. Now git outta mah house. 

 **MARY  
** Dad hommie! 

 **SAMUEL  
** I don't trust other hunters, Dean, don't want they help, don't want dem round mah crew. 

DEANNA is settin tha table up in tha next room, n' calls ta SAMUEL. 

 **DEANNA  
** Knock it off, Samuel. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Dat punk a hustla n' shit. 

DEANNA strutts tha fuck into tha room. 

 **DEANNA  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck passed yo' lil pop quiz, n' now I be invitin his ass ta dinner n' shit. Is you hungry, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Starving. 

 **DEANNA  
** Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! I be Deanna, you've kicked it wit mah homeboy Samuel, now wash up. 

DEAN looks at MARY. 

 **DEAN  
** Samuel n' Deanna, biatch? 

MARY nods. 

 **DEAN  
** Really, biatch? 

**_INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT_ **

DEAN, MARY, SAMUEL n' DEANNA is chillin round tha dinin room table smokin dinner n' shit. DEANNA leans over n' touches DEANz arm. 

 **DEANNA  
** First time up in Lawrence, Dean, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Well, itz been a while. Things shizzle have chizzled... I think. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Yo ass hustlin a thang, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, maybe. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Whatz dat mean, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** It means I don't trust other huntas either, Samuel. 

 **MARY  
** Yo, um, so why was you followin me n' John, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Mmm, I thought suttin' was afta your, um, pimp yo, but um, I don't be thinkin dat no mo'. 

 **DEANNA  
** Jizzy Winchesta mixin it up wit spirits, can you imagine, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** I saw dis shit. 

 **SAMUEL  
** What, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** That sour lemon look. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Now hold on, Johnz a straight-up, straight-up sick... naive civilian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **MARY  
** So what, biatch? You'd rather me be wit a muthafucka like this, biatch? 

Bitch nodz ta DEAN. 

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? Fuck dat shit, no. No.

 **SAMUEL  
** Mary, of course not, itz just dat I-

 **DEANNA  
** Thatz enough, both of you, our crazy asses have company. 

 **DEAN  
** So what tha fuck bout you, Samuel, you, uh, hustlin a thang, biatch? 

 **SAMUEL  
** Might be. 

 **MARY  
** Dat punk hustlin a thang on tha Whitshizzle Farm. 

SAMUEL gives MARY a look as DEAN clears his cold-ass throat. 

 **DEAN  
** Whitshire, why do dat name sound familiar ta me son, biatch? 

 **SAMUEL  
** Well, itz been all over tha papers. Tomothy Whitshire. Got tangled up in a cold-ass lil combine all dem towns over n' shit. 

 **DEAN  
** That kind of thang happens. 

 **SAMUEL  
** So why was he on it up in tha straight-up original gangsta place when his crops is all dead, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Demonic omens, biatch? 

 **SAMUEL  
** Thatz what tha fuck I gotta smoke up. 

 **DEAN  
** What bout tha rest of tha town, biatch? Well, did you find anythang on tha web, biatch? ...Of shiznit dat you have assembled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **DEANNA  
** Electrical storms maybe. Da drizzle steez graphs should be here on Friday. It make me wanna hollar playa! 

 **DEAN  
** By mail, biatch? 

 **SAMUEL  
** Fuck dat shit, our crazy asses hired a jet liner ta fly 'em ta our asses overnight. 

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, it soundz ta me like we might be hustlin tha same thang. Yo ass know if we go up in there up in numbers, we could take care of dis real quick. 

 **SAMUEL  
** What part of “we work alone” do you not understand, son, biatch? 

**_EXT. WHITSHIRE HOME - DAY_ **

MARY n' SAMUEL is chillin up in a truck.

 **MARY  
** And I be here cuz, biatch? 

 **SAMUEL  
** Family bidnizz, Mary... crew. 

 **SAMUEL  
** What, biatch? You'd rather be wavin pom-poms at a funky-ass bunch of dumb jocks, biatch? 

MARY sees a funky-ass pimp leanin on a tree nearby n' strutts towardz his muthafuckin ass. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Where you goin', biatch? 

 **MARY  
** To do tha thang, Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

SAMUEL strutts ta tha doggy den n' knocks on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN opens tha door, dressed as a priest.

 **SAMUEL  
** Father, I peep you beat me here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 

 **DEAN  
** Da Lord is funky dat way. Beth Whitshire, dis is mah associate, our senior, ballin' priest, Father Chaney. 

DEAN joins SAMUEL outside on tha stoop. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Please accept our deepest condolences on behalf of tha county diocese n' you can put dat on yo' toast. 

 **BETH  
** Nuff props, biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Mrs. Whitshizzle was just spittin some lyrics ta me all bout Tom, n' how tha fuck aiiight n' ordinary thangs was tha dizzle before his fuckin lil' dirtnap. 

 **SAMUEL  
** I see, so you didn't notice anythang unusual, ma’am, biatch? 

 **BETH  
** Yo ass mean like mah homeboy’s guts fertilizin tha back 40, biatch? 

SAMUEL is stunned tha fuck into silence at her response, n' DEAN, lookin amused, turns ta muthafuckin bounce. 

 **DEAN  
** Excuse mah dirty ass. 

DEAN pats SAMUEL on tha back n' then make his way off tha porch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMUEL shares a awkward smile wit BETH, n' we peep DEAN approachin MARY n' tha boy, CHARLIE. MARY notices DEAN n' turns back ta CHARLIE. 

 **MARY  
** Charlie, would you like ta tell tha Father here what tha fuck you just holla'd at mah crazy ass son, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** Dad drank sometimes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes he gots rough wit Mom. 

 **MARY  
** And thatz when tha stranger came, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** I just thought da thug was some Bizzle thumper, like y'all yo. Dude flossed up on some week ago. 

 **DEAN  
** Sayin what, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** Did I want tha whoopins ta stop, biatch? I just thought da thug was crazy, I didn't be thinkin- n' tha next thang I know, Dadz dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Am I goin ta jail, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** Yo ass didn't do this, Charlie. 

 **DEAN  
** Did tha stranger want suttin' up in return, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** Dude didn't want anything. 

 **DEAN  
** Come on, Chuck, da thug wasn't just handin up freebies now, was he, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** Dude did say suttin' bout comin' a cold-ass lil callin' ten muthafuckin years from now, nahmeean, biatch? Maybe he'd want suttin' then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Somethang like what, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** I don't give a fuck, aiiight, biatch? Look, I holla'd at you da thug was nuts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. 

MARY grabs DEANz arm n' leadz his ass all dem steps away. 

 **MARY  
** What do you think, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin he just pimped his thugged-out ass ta a thugged-out demon n' don't even know dat shit. 

MARY returns ta CHARLIE, n' DEAN bigs up her n' shit. 

 **MARY  
** Charlie, do you remember what tha fuck dis stranger looked like, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** Yeah, da thug was bout 5’10, white, aiiight lookin straight-up. 

 **MARY  
** Anythang else, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** There was one thang. 

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** It aint nuthin but just, tha light hit his wild lil' fuckin eyes up in a weird way and... fo' a moment I coulda sworn-

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? That they was black, biatch? Or red maybe, biatch? 

 **CHARLIE  
** Fuck dat shit, they was yellow. Pale yellow. 

DEAN looks over at MARY.

**_INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT_ **

DEAN slams a map down on tha dinin room table. DEANNA is up in tha kitchen choppin bananas. 

 **SAMUEL  
** What do you say our laid-back asses just slow down n' rap dis thang all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. 

 **DEAN  
** Therez not a god damn thang ta rap about. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Except you sayin itz a thugged-out demon, n' none of our asses has eva heard of a thugged-out demon wit yellow eyes. 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, I have. This thang capped mah crew. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Just quit trippin' out, son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass don't git it, do yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass is up in danger, we is all up in dark shiznit n' shit. In fact, you need ta git yo ass someplace safe. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Not until we know what tha fuck our phat asses dealin wit here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 

DEANNA comes up in carryin a gangbangin' fruit salad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **DEANNA  
** Samz right, Dean, it could be a thugged-out demon, it could be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifter, it could be any number of thangs. 

 **DEAN  
** I know what tha fuck dis thang is muthafucka! 

DEANNA goes back tha fuck into tha kitchen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** And I'ma bust a cap up in it, thatz all tha poppin' off I need ta do. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Yo ass is gonna bust a cap up in a thugged-out demon, biatch? How, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Therez a hunta named Daniel Elkins yo. Dude lives up in Colorado, dat schmoooove muthafucka has Coltz gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.  _The_  Colt. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Yeah, I heard bout tha Colt, used ta tell it ta Mary as a funky-ass bedtime story. 

 **DEAN  
** Well, itz real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. 

SAMUEL looks at DEANNA. They don't give a fuck what tha fuck ta think. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Alright, say dat it is. Yo ass gots some kind of crystal bizzle spittin some lyrics ta you where dis demonz gonna be, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, maybe I do. 

DEAN takes JOHNz journal outta his jacket n' flips it open on tha table. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Whatz this, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but a list. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Of what, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** My fuckin Dad freestyled down mah playas tha pimpin' muthafucka thought eva came up in contact wit tha Yellow Eyed Demon: who, where n' when. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Why, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** ‘Cause tha mo' his schmoooove ass could learn bout tha lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch, tha mo' his schmoooove ass could git into why it capped mah Mom. 

DEAN flips tha page. 

 **DEAN  
** Look, Whitshizzle Farm. I holla'd at you dat name sounded familiar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Whitshizzle Farms, dat was two minutes ago yo. How tha fuck tha hell is dat on yo' Dadz list, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Uh... mah Dad could peep tha future. Look at this, it say he gonna hit here tomorrow night. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Liddy Walsh, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Haleyville, thatz close. 

 **SAMUEL  
** I mean, yeah, itz bout three milez yo, but... 

SAMUEL looks over at DEANNA leanin on tha door jamb, n' her big-ass booty shakes her head slightly all up in tha whole story. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMUEL looks back at DEAN, whoz ass sees dat they don't believe his muthafuckin ass. 

 **DEAN  
** I know you muthafuckas be thinkin I be crazy. 

 **SAMUEL  
** Yo ass seem like a straight-up sick kid, Dean yo, but yeah, you crazy. 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, maybe yo, but I know where dis bastardz gonna be, n' I'ma stop it, once n' fo' all. 

DEAN takes tha journal n' strutts outta tha room. 

**_INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT_ **

MARY is chillin listenin ta music.

 **DEAN  
** I be shovin off. I just wanted ta say, bye. 

 **MARY  
** Really, biatch? So soon, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah- thang ta do. Yo, I wanted ta- ta rap , you know fo' what tha fuck itz worth. Um... it don't matta what tha fuck yo' Dad thinks, I wanna bust a nut on dat Jizzy kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

MARY smiles. 

 **MARY  
** Yo ass do, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. Yeah, I be thinkin you two is meant ta be. 

 **DEAN (softly)  
** Hell, I be dependin on dat shit. 

 **MARY  
** What, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Nothing. Um, can I ask you a question, biatch? 

MARY nods. 

 **DEAN  
** Whatz he like, biatch? John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **MARY  
** Why do you ask, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Just curious. 

 **MARY  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Dat punk dope, kind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Even afta tha war, afta every last muthafuckin thang, da perved-out muthafucka still believes up in happily eva after, you know, biatch? Dat punk every last muthafuckin thang a hunta aint. (beat) No offense. 

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, none taken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **MARY  
** Can I rap something, biatch? 

DEAN nods. 

 **MARY  
** Dat punk gonna ask me ta fuck his muthafuckin ass. Tomorrow, I think! 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** Oh, Dadz gonna explode yo, but I couldn't give a fuckin shit. I be bout ta run away if I have to, I just… I gots a straight-up boner fo' John, and... 

 **DEAN  
** And what, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** I wanna git out. This thang, dis game, I don't give a fuck bout dat shit. I want a cold-ass lil crew, I wanna be safe. Yo ass know da most thugged-out shitty thang I can be thinkin of, biatch? Da straight-up most shitty thang, biatch? Is fo' mah lil pimps ta be raised tha fuck into dis like I was. Fuck dat shit, I won't let it happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

DEAN blinks back tears. 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah... 

 **MARY  
** Yo, is you aiiight, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, no, I be- I be fine. Yo, uh, Mary, can I rap something, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** Sure. 

 **DEAN  
** Even if dis soundz straight-up weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Will you promise me dat yo big-ass booty is ghon remember, biatch? 

 **MARY  
** Okay. 

 **DEAN  
** On November 2nd, 1983, don't git outta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! No matta what tha fuck you hear, or what tha fuck you see. Promise me you won't git outta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **MARY  
** Okay. 

A tear runs down DEAN’s grill yo. Dude smilez at MARY n' leaves.

**_EXT. ROAD - NIGHT_ **

DEAN is driving. CASTIEL appears next ta his muthafuckin ass. DEAN inhalez sharply. 

 **DEAN  
** So what, biatch? Godz mah co-pilot, is dat it, biatch? 

CASTIEL just looks at him, n' DEAN glances over again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Well, you a regular Chatty Cathy. Tell me something. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam would have wanted up in on this, why not brang his ass back, biatch? 

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass had ta do dis alone, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** And you couldn't give a fuckin shiznit dat tha pimpin' muthafucka tearin up tha future lookin fo' me right now, biatch? 

 **CASTIEL  
** Samz not lookin fo' you, biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Alright, if I do this, then tha crew curse breaks, right, biatch? Momma n' Dad live happily eva after, n'- and, Sam n' I grow up playin lil league n' chasin tail, biatch? 

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass realize, if you do alta tha future, yo' father, you, Sam- you gonna never become huntas fo' realz. And all dem playas you saved, they'll take a thugged-out dirt nap. 

 **DEAN  
** I realize. 

 **CASTIEL  
** And you couldn't give a fuckin shit, biatch? 

 **DEAN  
** Oh, I care. I care a shitload yo, but these is mah muthafathas. I aint gonna let dem take a thugged-out dirtnap again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I can't. Fuck dat shit, not if I can stop dat shit.

DEAN looks over ta tha passenger seat yo, but CASTIEL is gone. 


	4. ACT THREE

**INT. ELKINS HOME - DAY**    
  
DEAN is kneelin at a safe, from which he pulls up tha Colt fo' realz. A dude, DANIEL ELKINS, appears wit a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun pointed at DEANz back.   
  
**DANIEL**  
Hold it right there, playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Drop tha gun, be on yo' way.   
  
DEAN pretendz ta lay tha Colt on tha top of tha safe yo, but instead points it at DANIEL.  
  
**DEAN**  
Can't do it, Daniel.   
  
**DANIEL**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck tha hell is yo slick ass, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
A hunter, just like yo ass.   
  
**DANIEL**  
Thiefz mo' like dat shit.   
  
**DEAN**  
I just need it fo' all dem days.   
  
**DANIEL**  
Not happening, mista n' shit.   
  
**DEAN**  
Look, I gots a cold-ass lil chizzle ta save mah crew’s lives. My fuckin crew. But I need dis glock ta do dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So if you wanna stop me son, biatch? Bust a cap up in mah dirty ass.   
  
DEAN lowers tha Colt n' strutts slowly toward tha door past DANIEL yo. Dude turns ta peep DANIEL n' DANIEL lowers his wild lil' freakadelic gun.  
  
**DEAN**  
Therez some huntas up in Lawrence, tha Campbells.   
  
**DANIEL**  
Never heard of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.   
  
**DEAN**  
Thatz where she'll be.   
  
  
**INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT**    
  
MARY n' SAMUEL is chillin all up in tha dinin room table cleanin guns.   
  
**MARY**  
Dean say where da thug was going, biatch?   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Said da thug was gonna bust a cap up in a thugged-out demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
MARY chuckles.   
  
**MARY**  
Bust a cap up in a thugged-out demon, biatch? Thatz impossible.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Yep.   
  
**MARY**  
Where, biatch?   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Uh... oh, I don' know, over up in Haleyville, uh, Walshz maybe.   
  
**MARY**  
Wait, not Liddy Walsh, biatch?   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Well, yeah, I- I- I be thinkin so.   
  
**MARY**  
Dad, she a gangbangin' playa of mine biaaatch! We gotta help her n' shit.   
  
DEANNA strutts ta tha door of tha room, n' sees MARY gettin up.   
  
**DEANNA**  
Whatz wrong, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
I be bout ta be up in tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
**DEANNA**    
Yo-  
  
**SAMUEL**  
I mean, dat biiiiatch wants ta hunt, her dope ass don't wanna hunt, is dis some biatch time of month thang, biatch?   
  
DEANNA sighs n' strutts back tha fuck into tha other room.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
What, biatch?   
  
  
**INT. WALSH'S HOME - NIGHT**    
  
LIDDY WALSH is chillin on tha sofa wit DR. BROWN.   
  
**DR. BROWN  
** I be sorry, Liddy, itz metastasized. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
**LIDDY**  
Where, biatch?   
  
**DR. BROWN**  
His liver, his fuckin lungs. It aint nuthin but time we talked bout arrangements, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.   
  
**LIDDY**  
Fuck dat shit, you gotta do something, Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Brown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**DR. BROWN**  
There is one way, a cold-ass lil cure straight-up yo, but I be bout ta need yo' help.   
  
**LIDDY**  
What do I gotta do, biatch?   
  
**DR. BROWN  
** Nothing. Just up in ten years, I be goin ta come ta you n' ask fo' suttin' then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**LIDDY**  
What, biatch?   
  
**DR. BROWN  
** Nothang you gonna miss.   
  
DR. BROWN’s eyes turn yellow. Da door bursts open n' SAMUEL entas yo. Dude blasts tha YED up in tha chest. LIDDY screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da YED’s eyes open n' SAMUEL cocks tha shotgun again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da YED waves his hand n' SAMUEL’s shotgun flies across tha room.   
  
**LIDDY**  
Oh-  
  
Da YED waves his other hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAMUEL flies backwardz n' gets pinned ta tha wall behind his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**LIDDY**  
Oh, Dogg.   
  
**YED**  
Hold dat thought.   
  
Da YED approaches SAMUEL.   
  
**SAMUEL  
** Yo ass lil hustla of a funky-ass bich.   
  
Da YED leans up in ta SAMUEL yo, but turns round abruptly. MARY is standin behind his ass wit a raised knife. Da YED grabs Mary by tha throat.   
  
**YED  
** Wuz crackalackin' there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.   
  
MARY slices his ass wit tha knife.   
  
**YED**  
Where tha hell have they been hidin yo slick ass, biatch?   
  
MARY keeps attacking. Da YED grabs her arm n' her dope ass drops tha knife. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch punches his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**YED**  
I wanna bust a nut on you, biatch. Yo ass gots a shitload of spunk.   
  
MARY kicks tha YED yo. Dude grabs her leg, then slams her against a wall.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Mary dawwwwg!   
  
DEAN bursts up in wit tha Colt drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da YED pulls MARY up in front of his ass as a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shield. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
**DEAN**  
Let her go!   
  
**YED**  
Where'd you git dat gun, biatch?   
  
DEAN cocks tha COLT n' nodz ta MARY, whoz ass breaks away from tha YED. Black smoke pours from tha YED’s grill n' goes up a vent up in tha wall.  
  
**DEAN**  
Damn...   
  
  
**EXT. WALSH HOME - NIGHT**    
  
**DEAN**  
Mary, what tha fuck else did da perved-out muthafucka say ta yo slick ass, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
I holla'd at you, just dat he was horny bout mah dirty ass.   
  
MARY looks up at DEAN wit fear up in her eyes.   
  
**MARY**  
What did he mean by that, biatch?   
  
SAMUEL joins dem on tha lawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Liddyz a phat kid, she'll be fine.   
  
SAMUEL looks at MARY.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Is you aiiight, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Fuck dat shit, Dad, I be pretty far from aiiight. Can we go, biatch?   
  
MARY turns n' strutts ta tha truck. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMUEL turns ta DEAN.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Sick thang up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.   
  
**DEAN**  
I missed tha shot.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Take tha compliment, son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be sayin dat I was wack bout you, biatch.   
  
DEAN looks at him, n' then ta tha truck where MARY went, n' looks back at SAMUEL, obviously upset.   
  
**DEAN**  
We need ta rap ridin' solo.   
  
  
**INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT**    
  
**DEAN**  
We gotta bust a cap up in dis thang now, or Mary dies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis!   
  
**SAMUEL**  
What, biatch? How tha fuck do you know that, biatch?   
  
DEAN pulls up JOHNz journal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.   
  
**DEAN**  
I just do, aiiight, biatch?   
  
**SAMUEL**  
When, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
I don't give a fuck, maybe todizzle, probably muthafuckin years from now yo, but itz happening, trust mah dirty ass.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
So what, is you some kind of a psycho now too, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
No fo' realz. Alright, dig mah dirty ass.   
  
DEAN goes ta tha table n' sits down next ta SAMUEL.   
  
**DEAN**  
Now, dis is gonna sound a lil... straight-up itz gonna sound massively, massively crazy.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Okay.   
  
**DEAN**  
Mary is mah mutha n' shit.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Excuse me son, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
And I be yo' grandson, n' I know what tha fuck tha hell I be poppin' off about.   
  
SAMUEL looks at his ass up in disbelief.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Yo ass wanna run dat by me again, son, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
My fuckin real name is Dean Winchesta n' shit. I started doin thangs January 24th, 1979. My fuckin muthafathas is Mary n' Jizzy Winchesta n' shit.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
I don't gotta dig all dis bullshit.   
  
**DEAN**  
Mary gets capped by a yellow eyed demon up in 1983, n' I be thinkin dat dis- what tha fuck happened tonight- I be thinkin dis is tha moment dat his schmoooove ass caught her scent. Now, if our phat asses don't catch dis thang now, n' bust a cap up in it, n' it gets away, biatch? Then Mary dies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I be askin you,. Biiiatch please.  
  
  
**EXT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT**    
  
MARY runs up ta JOHN n' throws her muthafuckin ass tha fuck into his thugged-out arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is.   
  
**JOHN**  
Yo, you- you aiiight, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Yo ass promised you'd take me away.   
  
**JOHN**  
Of course I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
**MARY**  
Do it now, nahmeean, biatch?   
  
JOHN opens tha door of his car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. MARY climbs in, n' da perved-out muthafucka shuts it afta her, lookin concerned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
  
**INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT**    
  
**DEAN**  
How tha fuck did I know bout tha Colt, biatch? Huh, biatch? How tha fuck did I know bout tha Yellow Eyed Demon, biatch? Or where it would be, biatch? I aint makin dis up, Samuel.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Every bone up in mah body be achin ta put you six feet under yo, but there be a suttin' bout you- I can't shake dat shit. Now, I may be crazier than you, lil hustla yo, but I believe you, biatch.   
  
**DEAN**  
Nuff props, biatch.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
I mean, how tha fuck do we find dis bastard, biatch?   
  
**DEAN**  
Right here, tha list.   
  
DEAN opens JOHNz journal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
And wit tha Colt, biatch?   
  
DEAN pulls tha Colt outta his jacket n' puts it on tha table.   
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Here, let me peep dat shit.   
  
DEAN hesitates n' then moves it further away from SAMUEL.   
  
**DEAN**  
Sorry, I don't let anybody hold dat shit.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
I be yo' grandfather n' shit.   
  
**DEAN**  
Nothang personal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.   
  
**SAMUEL**  
Sure it is, especially when itz me you tryin ta kill.   
  
SAMUELz eyes turn yellow. Da YED raises his hand n' tha chair dat DEAN is chillin slams against tha wall. DEAN glares yo, but appears unable ta move.


	5. ACT FOUR

**INT. CAMPBELL HOME - NIGHT**    
  
**YED  
** Future boy, huh, biatch?   
  
Da YED strutts over ta DEAN.   
  
**YED  
** I only know one thang thatz gots tha juice ta swin suttin' like dis shit. Yo ass must have playaz up in high places. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, I bust a cap up in yo' Mommy, biatch? Thatz why you came all dis way, biatch? To peep lil oldschool me son, biatch?   
  
**DEAN  
** Oh, I came here ta bust a cap up in you, biatch.   
  
**YED  
** Yo, wait a minute, if dat supa-ho Maryz yo' Mommy, is you, biatch... is you one of mah psycho kids, biatch?   
  
Da YED leans up in n' sniffs DEAN.  
  
**YED  
** Fuck dat shit, not you, biatch. Maybe you gots a sis, or a funky-ass bro. Thatz terrific, means all dat shiznit hit dat shiznit up fo' realz. Afta all, itz why I be here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.   
  
**DEAN  
** So thatz what tha fuck dis be about, these deals you making. Yo ass don't want these peoplez souls.   
  
**YED  
** Fuck dat shit, I just want they lil' thugs. I be here ta chizzle tha slick muthafathas, like yo' Mommy.   
  
**DEAN  
** Why her, biatch? Why any of them, biatch?   
  
**YED  
** Because they strong.   
  
DEANNA peeks round tha corner of tha kitchen doorway n' sees what tha fuck is happening.   
  
**YED  
** They're pure, n' they smoke they Wheaties. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! My fuckin own lil masta race- they ideal breeders.   
  
DEAN furrows his brow.   
  
**YED  
** Oh, git yo' mind outta tha gutter n' shit. No one’s humpin wit mah dirty ass. Though, Mary, biatch? Man, I'd like ta cook up a exception. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So far, she mah shit.   
  
DEAN looks furious n' tries ta move yo, but can’t. DEANNA watches from tha next room.  
  
**DEAN  
** So why make tha deals, biatch?   
  
**YED  
** I need permission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
DEANNA comes on tha fuckin' down-lowly tha fuck into tha room.   
  
**YED  
** I need ta be invited, tha fuck into they houses, I know, I know, tha- tha red tape'll drive you nuts yo, but up in ten short years, it'll all be worth dat shit. ‘Cause you know what tha fuck I'ma do ta yo' sibling, biatch? I'ma stand over they crib n' I'ma bleed tha fuck into they grill. Demon blood is betta than Ovaltine, vitamins, minerals- it make you big-ass n' strong.   
  
**DEAN  
** For what, biatch? So they can lead yo' discount demon army, biatch? Is dat yo' big-ass plan, biatch?   
  
**YED  
** Please, mah end gamez a hell of a shitload bigger than dat kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
  
**DEAN  
** End game, biatch? What end game, biatch?   
  
**YED  
** Like I'ma rap , or dem angels chillin on yo' shoulder n' shit. Fuck dat shit, I'ma cover mah tracks good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass can cover whatever tha hell you want yo, but I be still gonna bust a cap up in you, biatch.   
  
**YED  
** Right. Now that, I'd like ta see.   
  
**DEAN  
** Maybe not todizzle yo, but you look tha fuck into mah eyes, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch, ‘cause I be tha one dat kills you, biatch.   
  
**YED  
** So, you gonna save everybody, is dat right, biatch? Is dat it, biatch? Well, I be bout ta rap one thug dat you not gonna save.   
  
Da YED takes up a knife.  
  
**YED  
** Yo crazy-ass Grandpappy.   
  
Da YED winks n' plunges tha knife tha fuck into SAMUEL.  
  
**DEAN  
** No!   
  
**DEANNA  
** No!   
  
Da YED goes fo' DEANNA, while DEAN strugglez ta free his dirty ass. Da YED sendz DEANNA flyin n' breaks her neck up in tha kitchen as dat dunkadelic hoe tries ta crawl away. DEAN grabs tha Colt n' rushes up in ta find her dead, n' tha YED gone.   
  
**DEAN  
** Mary... Mary dawwwwg!   
  
  
**_EXT. IMPALA - NIGHT_**  
  
JOHN n' MARY sit up in tha IMPALA, which is parked next ta a river.  
  
**JOHN**    
I guess itz no secret why I brought you way up here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.   
  
  
**INT. IMPALA - NIGHT**    
  
**MARY**  
Jizzy-   
  
**JOHN**    
I just- just let me git all up in this, aiiight, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Okay, wait. Therez thangs you don't give a fuck bout me, John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**JOHN**  
So, biatch?   
  
JOHN opens tha rang box n' shows it ta her n' shit.   
  
**JOHN**  
I'ma always ludd you fo' exactly whoz ass yo ass is.   
  
There be a funky-ass bang all up in tha window.  
  
**YED**  
What did I tell yo slick ass, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Dad hommie!   
  
**JOHN**  
Sir, just listen!   
  
Da YED pulls MARY outta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. JOHN gets up tha other side.   
  
**MARY**  
Ow! Dad hommie! Yo ass is hurtin me biaaatch!   
  
JOHN runs over n' tries ta pull tha YED off MARY.   
  
**JOHN**  
Yo, take it easy as fuck dawwwwg!   
  
Da YED grabs JOHN’s head n' wrenches it sideways, breakin his neck n' cappin' his ass instantly.   
  
**MARY**  
No!   
  
JOHN falls ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! MARY drops ta her knees ta cradle his muthafuckin ass. Da YED kicks JOHN’s legs.  
  
**MARY**  
Yo ass capped his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**YED**  
Oh, not just John, dopeie-pie. Mommy n' Daddy like a muthafucka.   
  
Da YED unzips his jacket ta show MARY tha knife wound up in SAMUEL’s stomach.   
  
**MARY**  
No...   
  
**YED**  
Yup, afraid so. Yo ass is lil orphan Mary now, nahmeean, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
Yo ass lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!   
  
**YED**  
Oh, sticks n' stones may break mah bones, n' they won't brang yo' crew back either n' shit.   
  
**MARY**  
I be bout ta bust a cap up in you, I swear ta Dogg.   
  
**YED**  
Oh, letz not git nasty.   
  
Da YED sits down next ta MARY.   
  
**YED**  
Now look, we both holla'd some thangs dat we regret. Let's, um... lick n' make up.   
  
MARY is bustin up like a biatch as dat freaky freaky biatch holdz JOHN.   
  
**YED**  
I be bout ta rap what, I be bout ta arrange ta have freak pimp here brought back breathing.   
  
**MARY**  
My fuckin muthafathas too, biatch?   
  
**YED**  
Nope, sorry doll, thatz not on tha table. But, be thinkin bout it, you could be done wit hustlin forever n' shit. Da white picket fence, station wagon, couple kids, no mo' monstas or fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I be bout ta make shizzle of dat shit.   
  
**MARY**  
What, biatch? And all it costs is mah soul, biatch?   
  
**YED**  
Oh, no, you can keep yo' soul, I just need permission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**MARY**  
For what, biatch?   
  
**YED**  
Mmm, up in ten muthafuckin years I need ta swin by yo' doggy den fo' a lil something, thatz all.   
  
**MARY**  
For what?!   
  
**YED**  
Relax fo' realz. As long as I aint interrupted, no muthafucka gets hurt, I promise. (beat) Or you can spend tha rest of yo' game, desperate n' ridin' solo.   
  
Mary is sobbing.  
  
**YED**  
Mary, biatch? It aint nuthin but a phat deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck do you say, biatch?   
  
DEAN drives up n' sees tha YED humpin' MARY yo. Dude gets outta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
**DEAN**  
No!   
  
DEAN rushes forward wit tha Colt drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Before his schmoooove ass can blast, black smoke flows from tha YED’s grill. JOHN comes back ta game.   
  
**JOHN**  
Mary, biatch?   
  
**MARY**  
John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
CASTIEL appears beside DEAN n' places a hand on his shoulder n' shit. When Mary looks up from JOHN, DEAN is gone. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMUEL lies dead on tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 


	6. ACT FIVE

**INT. MOTEL - NIGHT**    
  
DEAN be asleep up in bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude gasps n' wakes up. CASTIEL is standin near tha foot of tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN sits up.   
  
**DEAN  
** I couldn't stop any of dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch still made tha deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch still took a dirt nap up in tha nursery, didn't she, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** Don't be too hard on yo ass. Yo ass couldn't have stopped dat shit.   
  
DEAN standz up.   
  
**DEAN  
** What, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** Destiny can't be chizzled, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. All roadz lead ta tha same destination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
**DEAN  
** Then why'd you bust me back, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** For tha real deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Now you know every last muthafuckin thang our phat asses do.   
  
**DEAN  
** What tha hell is you poppin' off about, biatch?   
  
CASTIEL looks all up in tha other bed, which hasn’t been slept in, n' DEAN bigs up his wild lil' freakadelic gaze.   
  
**DEAN  
** Wherez Sam, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** We know what tha fuck Azazel did ta yo' brutha n' shit. What our phat asses don't give a fuck is why- what tha fuck his wild lil' fuckin endgame is yo. Dude went ta pimped out lengths ta cover dat up.   
  
**DEAN  
** Wherez Sam, biatch?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** 425 Waterman. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
  
DEAN grabs his keys n' his jacket.  
  
**CASTIEL**  
Yo ass brutha is headed down a gangbangin' fucked up road, Dean, n' our asses aint shizzle where it leads. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So stop dat shit. Or we will. 


End file.
